Shane* is desperate to be a better father to his young children and break the cycle of parenting he grew up with.
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"A lot of the way we parent is based on the way we were parented," he said. "There's a lot of things I don't want to put my children through that I went through as a child."
Shane is part of a group of men taking part in Cafs' innovative Dad's Tool Kit parenting program, which supports fathers to build stronger relationships with their children.
He self-referred to the voluntary nine-week program but participants arrive at the intake process through a range of pathways including Orange Door, schools, child protection, courts and other agencies.
"I self referred because I've got a pretty big goal: I want to be best dad I can possibly be and I'm really big on breaking the cycle."
He said the course had given him the tools to talk to his children about how they are feeling, helping them name their emotions, and how to regulate his own emotions and behaviours.
"The things we learn focus on children but also come in to any relationship you have, how to have positive relationships."
Cafs team leader Fiona Weissenfeld said the free program offered participants an opportunity to build positive parenting skills, identify ways to create a safer home environment and develop an understanding of the well-being and developmental needs of children.
While not a men's behaviour change program, they do look at the impact of the use of violence on children and partners.
"The purpose is for dads to understand their role as a father and understand the impact of their choices and behaviour on their children and partner or ex partner," Ms Weissenfeld said.
"We help to explore values of parenting, emotional regulation, healthy coping strategies, the impact of behaviour on kids, what sets off dads' own emotional responses, where that might come from and how they can change this."
Ms Weissenfeld said seeing the "lightbulb moments" some men experience during the course was satisfying.
"It's about shifting the way we look at our values as a parent, our values as a dad, equality in the home, where values come from and shifting some of those ideas about gender roles and how we model that."
The program runs weekly on a Wednesday with up to around 10 dads in a group, but if demand is high enough extra groups will be added.
While the Dad's Tool Kit program has run since 2017, it has recently been overhauled to a contained nine week term-based program and is seeing more demand following recent events in Ballarat.
The Cafs' Dad's Tool Kit program is now taking referrals for its term three program. Anyone interested can call Cafs on 1800 692 237.
*not his real name
